SOOTHE Group
Supporting Ourselves and Others Through Healing and Empowerment
Week 6.4
Estimated time to complete 6.4: 30-40 mins
Self-criticism and the Self-Critic
The aim of this section is to discover the different forms and functions of self-criticism, including our different "voices."
Self-criticism often stems from the so-called “disappointment gap,” which is the space that separates our ideal self from our actual self.
ACTUAL SELF
IDEAL SELF
Discrepancy that generates disappointment
Self-criticism
You might like to watch one or both of the videos below. They help to explain self-criticism and the inner critic a little more.
How do we deal with this gap?
We all have images that come to mind of what we are aiming for and what we would like to be, or hope to be.
This is our ideal self.
Below are some examples of what an ideal self might include
Confident at public speaking
Gets top grades
Popular
Attractive
Handle stress well
Reliable
I help people
I have a good job
Reflect...
1. What does your ideal self look like? What type of person are they? What do they do?
2. What happens when you do not meet that ideal, for example, if you experience a moment of failure, such as not getting the top grade or promotion at work?
3. What kind of fears emerge at the idea of never reaching your ideal self?
4. How do you view and treat yourself then?
Enter your responses in your Reflective Journal and paste it below if you'd like your facilitators to see.
Let's introduce a concept that may be helpful - the idea of our 'voices.' Many of us have different ‘voices’ or thought patterns, which might push harsh rules or criticism.
Some people find it helpful to name the critical thoughts or 'voices' as the ‘eating disorder voice.’ You might resonate with this, or you might have a different name for your 'voice.'
'Voices'
Reflect...
Take a moment to think about what the name of your self-critical 'voice' might be. What would you name it?
Enter your response in your Reflective Journal and paste it below if you'd like your facilitators to see.
This 'voice' is not who you are - it’s a pattern of thoughts that you developed to cope. It’s a pattern your brain learned. And the good news is, if it’s learned, it can also be unlearned.
Can you recall a time where your 'voice' was there?
Noticing the voice means there’s also another part of you - the compassionate part - that wants something different.
Research paper
If you're interested in reading some research on the 'eating disorder voice,' you can take a look at the attached pdf document: Research - Eating Disorder Voice.
The research paper explores how individuals experience the 'eating disorder voice,' and its dual role as both a protective companion and a controlling, critical force that can impact us.
If you'd rather not read the full paper, the key messages from the paper are highlighted below.
