SOOTHE Group
Supporting Ourselves and Others Through Healing and Empowerment
Week 6.5
Estimated time to complete 6.5: 15-25 mins
Origins of self-criticism and introducing the role of the Compassionate Self
Guided practice
It's important to investigate the origins of our self-criticism, and to get a feel and sense of how our self-critic was born. It can also help us to see how our self-critic functioned during our development, from when we were younger, to where we are today.
The below guided practice investigates the origins of our self-critic. It will invite you to recall memories and times. While this can be difficult, it can help us get a better sense of where our self-critic might have come from.
You may need to pause the practice during moments of reflection and thinking. Just take your time and go at your own pace. There is no right or wrong way of doing this.
Remember, no practice is mandatory. Allow yourself permission to interrupt the practice, or choose not to participate if it does not feel right for you.
We have not chosen our criticism.
We did not choose for others in our life to criticise us. If it was up to us, we probably would have chosen for them to care for us.
This is not our fault.
We have an internal compassionate wisdom that can help guide us to what is helpful, not harmful or critical. Our inner voice has a lot of compassionate wisdom and courage, and will guide us if we let it do so.
Introduction to the role of the Compassionate Self in helping the Self-Critic
This section helps us to understand how our Compassionate Self can help address our disappointment and shift our self-critic into a form of compassionate improvement.
The gap we perceive between our current self and our ideal self creates disappointment, which we often deal with through harsh and sometimes even hostile self-criticism. This, however, is not the only way we can deal with the disappointment.
ACTUAL SELF
IDEAL SELF
However, if we just let go of our self-critic, we might experience some fears, such as the ones shown on the right.
These fears are valid. There's nothing wrong with them - it's how we react when those fears arise that can cause us problems.
We can address these fears through the lens of our Compassionate Self.
Ask yourself, how might the Compassionate Self help us with those fears, in a way that is more helpful than the strategies of the Self-Critic?
Discrepancy that generates disappointment
"You're becoming lazy"
"You're arrogant"
"You're not learning"
"You think you have no flaws"
Take a moment to reflect on how your Compassionate Self might approach your Self-Critic.
You can do this just in your mind and together, in Week 7 (the next live group session), you will explore this more deeply, and take a look at what it might be like for your Self-Critic to be met by your Compassionate Self.
Great work, you've come to the end of Week 6 self-guided materials! The content on the multiple selves and the Self-Critic might have been particularly challenging for some.
Take time to rest and look after yourself today.
You can come back to these materials at any time throughout the program. You can also find all the handouts and recordings for Week 6 under the Resources tab.
Your group facilitator looks forward to seeing you in Week 7 for the fourth online group session.
My self-critic is just a part of me, and I can respond to it with understanding and kindness.